Thanks everyone

for all the hugs and good wishes - they do help.

Everything seems to be moving along - other cousin is checking out funeral costs - which, by the way, are ridiculously expensive, even for a bare bones graveside service. None of her clothes will suit patriarchal uncle, so we'll also have to get something to bury her in.

So I've gone through her things - and all that's left are maybe a garbage bag full of clothes and a small grocery bag with a few toiletries that look unused, so I'll donate them. Threw away some of the clothes because of cigarette burns and general nastiness and went through the other bags and threw away opened toiletries and make-up and sorted out the mail she had so I can call places and tell them she's deceased.

So a garbage bag of clothes, a grocery bag of toiletries/odds & ends, and 3 pieces of mail. And that's it. Oh, yeah, a pair of tennis shoes and a boom box - those are still in my trunk. Everything else - pictures, mementos, whatever - was left behind/lost when she got kicked out of various places.

That just makes me sadder when I compare it to all the stuff of Mom's that I'm still trying to sort through in the house. I'm trying to cut the clutter and get rid of things I don't need, but there's still a lot of things I'll keep. Almost nothing of AC's is worth keeping. There should be *stuff*, you know? Even if you were being a minimalist, there should still be *something*. [sigh]

A nice article about cousin and more family drama

from the bar/karaoke place she liked to go to.

http://www.goupstate.com/article/20100427/articles/4271039?p=1&tc=pg

I did call them today to tell them that the funeral was payed for and if they wanted to raise money for a marker, it would be appreciated. The DJ is also going to make a CD of her favorite 3-4 songs for us and I think we'll play them in the background during the service. Other cousin had a nice skirt/suit/outfit that she hadn't worn and was going to give that for AC to be buried in, but ended up having to get a new shirt with a higher neck and long sleeves to hide the bruises [sigh].

But the article also made me realize there'll be something at the service that we've probably never dealt with - the press. A couple of the cousins wanted me to make sure that the people at the bar knew she was "homeless by choice" - I'm not going to say that. I don't find it untrue, but it's not the whole truth. And if I end up talking to the press (please, no), I'll tell what I think is true - whatever that is. Those cousins just don't want to look bad.

Other cousin is one of them - she's also the mother of jerk cousin who was suing jerk brother[g]. And she sucks up to the uncle from GA in a truly icky manner - it seems vaguely incestuous but she seems to stroke his ego in some special way. So uncle thinks she's wonderful, his late wife didn't like her, and their kids despise her. And in typical crazy family tradition, uncle is being nasty to his kids and protective of her and his kids probably aren't coming to the funeral, because they don't want her to get the pleasure of seeing him put them down. Plus they'd be too tempted to hurt her :) My cousin D, uncle's daughter who lives down the street from him, is a wonderful, calm, truly Christian woman - she was ranting and raving and cursing - she was that upset, because her father, who is the old-fashioned patriarchal kind of guy, was being nasty and yelling at her and her siblings - and was going to come here without telling them anything about where he was going.

Yeah, so the 81 (or more) year old, humped-over-at-the-waist man, in ill health and needing breathing treatments 3 or 4 times a day, is driving here by himself. Through Atlanta rush hour traffic. And stormy weather. It'll be a miracle if he makes it without killing himself or someone else.
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Okay, was interrupted by the phone. He did make it.

Gah, anyone want to switch families?

oddest thing

I forgot one of my old high school friends works in the coroner's office. I posted something on FB about families and drama and she PM'd me - she said she sort of recognized my voice, but it didn't occur who it was until after she transferred me to the investigator. Was very sorry to realize it was me and that the victim was my cousin.

Semi-small town living at its finest :)