The train ride of disaster is over [sigh]
Apr. 25th, 2010 10:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eviltammyAnnoying cousin is deceased.
The coroner's office called me a little before 8:30 pm. They found her in an abandoned building. They got my name and number from the detention center records from her stay over Christmas. They're calling it suspicious right now and will do an autopsy and investigation. And will keep me informed of everything.
It's a shock, but not really, you know? Even AC wouldn't have been surprised.
So I called a couple of the relatives and my cousin D, who lives in GA, will tell her dad tomorrow - he's the elderly uncle who AC always called for money. He's in his early 80's and not in great health and they've also been dealing with some of the probate stuff for his wife, who's been gone almost a year now.(Hers was the funeral I went to after the outbuilding burned down and melted the back end of the car). D also said she's pretty sure her dad will pay for burying her - and had already bought her a plot next to her dad.
So the ride is over and the wreck is being cleared. I'll have to wait until I get official word, then I can start figuring out what to do about her SS and PO box and all the stuff that's in my trunk.
Of course, my first reaction after hanging up the phone was 'it's all my fault' - which I knew was stupid and I called my therapist. My regular appt. is Wed., but she told me her open times tomorrow in case I want to go in. But I think I'm okay - it was not an unreasonable first reaction, but even as I was calling her, I was getting over it. AC's life was her own choice. Just a damn shame. [sigh]
The coroner's office called me a little before 8:30 pm. They found her in an abandoned building. They got my name and number from the detention center records from her stay over Christmas. They're calling it suspicious right now and will do an autopsy and investigation. And will keep me informed of everything.
It's a shock, but not really, you know? Even AC wouldn't have been surprised.
So I called a couple of the relatives and my cousin D, who lives in GA, will tell her dad tomorrow - he's the elderly uncle who AC always called for money. He's in his early 80's and not in great health and they've also been dealing with some of the probate stuff for his wife, who's been gone almost a year now.(Hers was the funeral I went to after the outbuilding burned down and melted the back end of the car). D also said she's pretty sure her dad will pay for burying her - and had already bought her a plot next to her dad.
So the ride is over and the wreck is being cleared. I'll have to wait until I get official word, then I can start figuring out what to do about her SS and PO box and all the stuff that's in my trunk.
Of course, my first reaction after hanging up the phone was 'it's all my fault' - which I knew was stupid and I called my therapist. My regular appt. is Wed., but she told me her open times tomorrow in case I want to go in. But I think I'm okay - it was not an unreasonable first reaction, but even as I was calling her, I was getting over it. AC's life was her own choice. Just a damn shame. [sigh]
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 02:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 03:19 am (UTC)No, it's not an unreasonable first reaction. Heck, when my mom died, one of my first thoughts were "what could I have done better?"
In this case, you have done everything you could and then some. She had the opportunities in front of her to change, but did not take them. I hope now she has found some peace.
I hope you have some peace in your life now as well. Cabana boys would be nice too. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 03:19 am (UTC)i get what you mean by a shock and yet not one.
and yes, very very NOT your fault -- but a normal first reaction when someone dies and we wonder what we could have done differently to prevent it.
much love heading your way. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{t}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 04:08 am (UTC){{{Hugs back}}}
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 04:12 am (UTC)I hope she's at peace too - I know her life was her own fault, but it'd be nice to think she's okay now.
Cabana boys would be very nice :) {Hugs}
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 04:15 am (UTC){{{{hugs back}}}}
All the relatives have said the same thing and sadly we all agree that she and all of us are better off now.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 04:22 am (UTC){hugs back}
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 05:38 am (UTC)It is a damn shame. Remember that old ad, a mind is a terrible thing to waste? It's so damn true.
But I'm really glad you're getting over your first reaction. You did everything you could -- she just couldn't pull herself together, and that's definitely not your fault.
{{{{{{Hugs again}}}}}}}
Call if you need to talk...
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 12:46 pm (UTC)You definitely went above and beyond for her. ::hugs::
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 01:18 pm (UTC)[hugs back]
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 01:24 pm (UTC){hugs back}
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 05:28 pm (UTC)It's a really hard thing to learn, but you can't save anyone but yourself. I try to keep it in mind, but it's difficult.
Because the truth is the old joke about the psychiatrist and the light-bulb -- how many shrinks does it take to change a light-bulb?
Only one, but the light-bulb really has to want to be changed.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-27 03:02 am (UTC)