Nov. 23rd, 2008

eviltammy: (OMG)
I could swear I've talked about this, but scrolling back through the archives shows that I haven't. Hmmm...

[livejournal.com profile] diavestra? Did I talk about this with you once?

I'm having weight loss surgery. Vertical sleeve gastrectomy - which I, in my own special otterevil-y way, am calling "So you're having your stomach amputated". My diabetes keeps getting worse and my physical condition pretty much keeps me from doing much, which limits any possibility of exercise and getting back into any kind of shape.

I'm not particularly thrilled about it, but I'm doing it. I wanted to get the lap band, but the doctor wouldn't recommend me for it - said it wouldn't do enough. But he didn't go for the gastric bypass either (which I wouldn't have done - that much mutilation scares me). Basically they leave a tube/sleeve and cut off the rest of the stomach. Deeply scary shit.

Mostly I feel like a failure that I've let it get this far. And I hate the idea of WLS - I think it's suggested/offered much too cavalierly, but I also don't think I have a choice (well, not much of one). I'm not expecting instant thinness and instant health and a golden lifestyle - I don't think I'd even know what to do with that :) But losing enough weight so that I can start exercising, getting off some of the meds I'm on, and hopefully getting fit enough to get off of disability and go back to work - that I could deal with.

So for the last couple of months, I've been doing the doctor rounds - getting cardiac clearance, pulmonary clearance (which is where the CPAP machine came from), mental health clearance (my therapist has promised to be there for the long haul :) ), and all the hospital crap (I had an exhausting 9-5 day at the hospital last Tuesday attending class, doing pre-op, etc.).

Heh, my therapist has set my first July 09 appointment at her office - which I haven't been to since our first appointment because of the stairs around June 07. My problems with her steep stairs did alert her to the fact that her office wasn't disabled friendly though and she made arrangements to use a room in her church for me and other clients she started with after me.

Soooooo, that's the surgery. Sorry about that :)

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