eviltammy: (Default)
that I drink a lot?

No? Neither did I! Wow!

::waits for Ith & Nin to stop laughing::

But I was amazed to learn that Other Cousin told mutual Uncle this during his time up here for the funeral.

Cousin D (nice cousin, uncle's daughter) told her sister this and her sister said she should tell me so that I know how mean OC is. This may be what OC's daughter told the people at the bar the other night.

Yeah, I had a drink after AC's funeral. Can't tell you when the previous one was. Before my surgery, I was a cheap drunk - two was my usual limit, maaaaaybe three if someone else was driving. After my surgery? I'm an even cheaper drunk :) I had a margarita in a high ball type glass - and granted I don't really remember eating before the funeral, but ate lunch w/margarita - and I was way feeling it. Face felt flushed, head was spinning a little. I drove directly home, did not pass go, did not collect $200, and definitely did not speed. And immediately took a nap after getting home.

[sigh] Seriously, somebody in this family has to be a changeling or something. At least it gives me something to talk to the therapist about tomorrow :)

And in good news, the bar raised just over $500 for a marker. I'm doing the preliminary work of checking prices and starting the process and the owner will meet me wherever and pay for it. Went to one place today, need to check another tomorrow and contact the cemetery, but hopefully it'll be ordered and paid for this week.
eviltammy: (Default)
and find some members of my family suck even more than I thought [sigh].

The bar where AC liked to go to for karaoke is holding a fundraiser tonight to try to buy a marker for her grave. Very nice of them. They invited me, so I decided to go for a bit. Didn't plan on staying long because it hits four of my least favorite things - full of cigarette smoke, loud, crowded, and hot. Not a whole lot of people there when I arrived; they said the real crowd would be there around 10pm.

But apparently one of the cousins had been in around a bit before 6pm. I don't know this cousin - she showed up at the funeral - most of us had no idea who she was - she's Other Cousin's daughter (OC is the one who's son sued brother and who sucks up to Uncle in a creepy fashion).

I went because I wanted to go, to thank them for everything they had done for AC, and to warn them about her ex-husband (who might would have the guts to go and try to imply they weren't exes or were still close to try to get money). Also to tell them that they should do all of it themselves and not give the money to anyone in the family to do for them. [My thought was that Other Cousin would gladly take it, buy something cheap, and keep the rest for herself.] And that if the funeral home needed someone in the family to sign allowing it, to call me and I'd meet them, but I would be much happier if they handled all the money aspects, since it was their effort. [And I had the vague thought, which was confirmed, that someone might make insinuations about what I did with the money.]

Unknown cousin had already suggested that they give the money to her/family to take care of. The bar owner told me he meant no disrespect to me or the rest, but that they knew AC, not us. I totally agree. Another guy there, security, I think, who seemed to really like AC, told me that Unknown Cousin tried to warn them about me.

Don't know what she said - in a sick way, I'd kinda like to know, but I'm much happier not knowing :)

He also made a point to tell me that I was the only one she had ever mentioned. And he put a cigarette and a Coke at the table she liked to sit at and said something about making sure no one else sat there. They were exceedingly nice and upset about what happened. And the woman who does the karaoke played AC's favorite song for me and several of the people in the bar sang along. One man had to wipe his eyes during it.

I left then because I was about to cry. And they invited me to come back anytime, just to chat, or to stay. And I cried a bit because of how caring they were - and how *evil* some of the family are.

It's almost enough to make me think about moving out to where Ith & Nin are - except for that whole "winter" thing. :) I'm so NOT a winter person.
eviltammy: (Default)
from the bar/karaoke place she liked to go to.

http://www.goupstate.com/article/20100427/articles/4271039?p=1&tc=pg

I did call them today to tell them that the funeral was payed for and if they wanted to raise money for a marker, it would be appreciated. The DJ is also going to make a CD of her favorite 3-4 songs for us and I think we'll play them in the background during the service. Other cousin had a nice skirt/suit/outfit that she hadn't worn and was going to give that for AC to be buried in, but ended up having to get a new shirt with a higher neck and long sleeves to hide the bruises [sigh].

But the article also made me realize there'll be something at the service that we've probably never dealt with - the press. A couple of the cousins wanted me to make sure that the people at the bar knew she was "homeless by choice" - I'm not going to say that. I don't find it untrue, but it's not the whole truth. And if I end up talking to the press (please, no), I'll tell what I think is true - whatever that is. Those cousins just don't want to look bad.

Other cousin is one of them - she's also the mother of jerk cousin who was suing jerk brother[g]. And she sucks up to the uncle from GA in a truly icky manner - it seems vaguely incestuous but she seems to stroke his ego in some special way. So uncle thinks she's wonderful, his late wife didn't like her, and their kids despise her. And in typical crazy family tradition, uncle is being nasty to his kids and protective of her and his kids probably aren't coming to the funeral, because they don't want her to get the pleasure of seeing him put them down. Plus they'd be too tempted to hurt her :) My cousin D, uncle's daughter who lives down the street from him, is a wonderful, calm, truly Christian woman - she was ranting and raving and cursing - she was that upset, because her father, who is the old-fashioned patriarchal kind of guy, was being nasty and yelling at her and her siblings - and was going to come here without telling them anything about where he was going.

Yeah, so the 81 (or more) year old, humped-over-at-the-waist man, in ill health and needing breathing treatments 3 or 4 times a day, is driving here by himself. Through Atlanta rush hour traffic. And stormy weather. It'll be a miracle if he makes it without killing himself or someone else.
---
Okay, was interrupted by the phone. He did make it.

Gah, anyone want to switch families?
eviltammy: (Default)
Annoying cousin is deceased.

The coroner's office called me a little before 8:30 pm. They found her in an abandoned building. They got my name and number from the detention center records from her stay over Christmas. They're calling it suspicious right now and will do an autopsy and investigation. And will keep me informed of everything.


It's a shock, but not really, you know? Even AC wouldn't have been surprised.

So I called a couple of the relatives and my cousin D, who lives in GA, will tell her dad tomorrow - he's the elderly uncle who AC always called for money. He's in his early 80's and not in great health and they've also been dealing with some of the probate stuff for his wife, who's been gone almost a year now.(Hers was the funeral I went to after the outbuilding burned down and melted the back end of the car). D also said she's pretty sure her dad will pay for burying her - and had already bought her a plot next to her dad.

So the ride is over and the wreck is being cleared. I'll have to wait until I get official word, then I can start figuring out what to do about her SS and PO box and all the stuff that's in my trunk.

Of course, my first reaction after hanging up the phone was 'it's all my fault' - which I knew was stupid and I called my therapist. My regular appt. is Wed., but she told me her open times tomorrow in case I want to go in. But I think I'm okay - it was not an unreasonable first reaction, but even as I was calling her, I was getting over it. AC's life was her own choice. Just a damn shame. [sigh]
eviltammy: (Default)
The other week, the annoying one, when I was talking about seeing my therapist, said something about wanting therapy. (waits for gasps of shock and "No shit!"s to diminish) So I mentioned it next session. Therapist, a former school counselor, knows someone at the Mental Health Dept and called her to see how we could go about it.
She said MHD wouldn't touch unless she was clean, but there's a detox center where she can enter a residential program and then transfer back to the MHD as an outpatient.

Well, of course, AC denies she has a drug problem, but both my therapist and I stressed that it was a residential program - meaning she would be off the street - plus getting help. She actually agree to do it. (again waits for shock to go away)

So today I went and picked her up at the motel (today was her checkout day and time to go back on the streets until she got more money), got all her stuff in my car again, and headed out to the detox place.

Where they didn't have a bed for her.

We both just... chuckled in despair. She'd been calling the shelter too and they were full. Guy at detox said possibly an opening in a day or two, so we'll call back and check. But it was kind of like kicking someone who's already unconscious, you know?

So I dropped her off at a Burger King and gave her the change I had in my purse. So she had some lunch, at least.
eviltammy: (Default)
with the saga of the annoying cousin, a small update :)

Went to pick up her stuff and took her to a different area of town where there are places open all night (Waffle House, local bar, convenience stores). Of course, those places want you to buy something. And, of course, she's broke.

May the library gods forgive me - I suggested she go there. She'd be warm and dry, have access to a bathroom, could go in and out to smoke, could sit and read, no money required, etc. Her answer? Are they open all night? No? Well then I'd have to walk down to [area of town].

Where she's more likely to get the law called on her for loitering. Stupid bint.

Oh, well. Not my problem. I just have a couple of bags of her stuff in my trunk until she gets more money.
eviltammy: (Default)
and I said no. So she'll be back on the street today.

Not my problem.

Wanted me to call our uncle in GA and ask him to help "us" out one last time. Pfffft!

I told her she would have to figure out a way to call him and that I wasn't going to call him to ask for money or ask him to call her so she could ask. She said she doesn't blame me. She can blame me all she wants - still ain't gonna happen.

She also thinks her ex-husband has claimed her on his income tax and that's why she hasn't gotten any stimulus checks lately, so she's going to call and report him for fraud. Umm... for one thing, there haven't been any stimulus checks lately... As for the fraud, fine, maybe he did - he did it once and it messed up her SS/Medicare for a couple of months. But is it wrong of me to hope *she* gets in trouble for falsely accusing him?

Oh, well, at least, if she's picked up for vagrancy again, I don't have to worry about visiting :) The detention center is undergoing some renovations and they've had to move the prisoners around and have suspended visitations :)
eviltammy: (Default)
Annoying Cousin in jail - again.

I saw her Thursday morning, took her from one place to another, then went home and later went to the beach for Christmas. Saw Jen & Dave and parents, had dinner, played a game, went back to hotel. Called home to see if I had any messages - AC wanted me to come take her from one place to another again. Oops, so sorry, not available.

Christmas morning I checked messages again - she was in jail and wanted me to come try to get her out. Again - oops, so sorry, not available.

Checked the detention center web site when I got home - she's still in. Her bond is around $500 - last time it was set around $1000 and they let her out - or she somehow paid it - so I'm not sure why she hasn't been released. But I'm NOT putting any money toward getting her out. And there haven't been any more messages. And the only way I can talk to her is if she calls collect and they won't take her a message that I called.

So if she tries again, I'll be here to talk to, but I'm not helping her get out. If she gets out, I'll take her somewhere, but she's going to have to call me.

I am evilly amused - so were Jen & Dave when I told them at Christmas dinner. Which was wonderful. And I got presents :)

Well, presents outside of the evil amusement. Hey, at least she was warm and dry on Christmas Day :P
eviltammy: (Default)
AC says she's leaving S'burg. Called me to find out bus rates out of here. Told her Greyhound required a destination, so she said NYC - told her the price. Went and picked her up a bit later and took her to Walmart so she could get a new outfit and some food - she's back in a motel with nothing again. ::shakes head::

Also told her that when she went to Greyhound to get a ticket to seriously think about it - she might want to head further south, since NYC is very expensive and will get getting mighty cold soon :)

Of course, there was no discussion of how she'd be getting her checks, what she'd do, ...

Because I'm sure she expected me to pity her and offer up my house or money. Not happening.

But if she did what she said, she's on a bus somewhere out of state. Sorry, world.

well

Nov. 29th, 2009 12:28 am
eviltammy: (Default)
She's been released, but where she is I do not know.

I called back soon after my last post and they said her group would be going before the judge in about 15 minutes, so I gave it some time and called back a bit after 11 pm - and they said she was out. So I went over to pick her up - mostly to see who was persecuting her this time [eg]. She wasn't there.

Officer at the desk said she'd been arrested for loitering and there was a $1000 bond, but she had been released. So does that mean she actually had money to post - or did they just release her for some reason?

And where did she go?

I drove to the two gas stations nearby that she calls me from occasionally and didn't see her. Drove around a little bit to see if I saw her walking, plus check my home phone for messages. Nothing. And I won't call the place she's living as it's after midnight now - there are only two or three people I do that too - and them rarely.

So it'll be interesting to see what happens. Will I get a call at 4 am again? Or will she call tomorrow to whine about the world hating her? Do I care? Well, I'm vaguely interested :) but unless she calls in the next half hour, any phone call will be met with a "No, I am not coming out to get you. Tough luck, hope they don't arrest you for loitering again." The only reason I say the next half hour is that I'm not planning to go to bed until at least 1 am and my vague interest in the story *might* get me to go back out. After that? Interest wanes and sleep beckons.
eviltammy: (Default)
Went out for some shopping - yarn, yeah!

Got home, had message on the phone. AC is in jail again and wants me to come pick her up. Message was left at 5:15 pm-ish, I got it after 7 pm. Ignored it for a bit, then found the phone number for the jail to see if she was out yet. Officer who answered recognized the name! and said that she hadn't seen the judge yet - that would happen between 8 & 10 pm.

So I'll call back in a few minutes - it's 9:40 pm now.

Can't wait to hear this story!
eviltammy: (Default)
And yes, it is 5:40 am Eastern time.

Annoying cousin called yesterday - early afternoon. Made it sound like she had gotten kicked out of the new place, but mostly she wanted to bum a couple of dollars and a ride. Fine. I'd have been happier if she'd just called and asked for a ride, but that's impossible.

So I drop her off at some karaoke place. She says something about seeing me later. Oh, joy, I thought.

Well, by 10 pm, when I was talking to [livejournal.com profile] aka_arduinna, I assumed she had gotten someone to give her a ride home.

Well, you know what they say about assuming.

4:10 in the fucking morning. 4:10 am.

I get a call from a convenience store. Guess who. Wasn't awake enough to realize what time it was or I'd have let the machine pick up. I almost told them to have her arrested for vagrancy :) Still not sure why I actually went and got her.

Then, I get on the wrong road and she lets me drive for 10-15 minutes before telling me I'm going the wrong way. I had told her I didn't know where the apartments were. Completely the wrong fucking direction.

When I dropped her off, I told her not to call me until November.

She thought it was funny and said something about seeing me in a couple of days. So I reminded her that I was going off. So she chuckled and said something about seeing me in November.

She won't think it's so funny the next time she calls.

Unless, of course, she actually waits until November.

I'm... I'm not even mad. I'm beyond mad. I realize I helped create this monster. And I'm going to help kill it too.

Now I've just got to unwind enough to go back to sleep.
eviltammy: (Default)
AC's got another sucker lined up - apparently is moving in with another friend, who she's lived with once before. Low rent, and is going to be putting money down on a cheap car. Or it could all be a lie. Or will end up like the last one.


Civil court case against other cousin is tomorrow. Will be picking up the mercenary niece [g] around noon. Hopefully other cousin won't show up.


And I've decided I'll get someone else to hem the pants so that they'll be straight :) Now I just have to find someone.
eviltammy: (Default)
Apparently AC spent the night with a friend, who must have taken her to get her check and get it cashed. She's in a motel. I took her clothes to her, also some toiletries that have been sitting around for a while (Mom's stuff and Christmas gifts).

Maybe the drama will subside for a bit.

At least until after the civil suit with brother next week. ::rolls eyes::
eviltammy: (Default)
All she had to do was follow the house rules for one more night [sigh]. But instead she's spending the night out the streets until I take her to get her check tomorrow.

Imagine a smoke-roughened voice, whiny, kind of manic, and Southern :) :

They were killing me. They wouldn't let me smoke. They wouldn't give me my pills. And when I went to ask S. for a pill, she cussed at me and pushed me down. She hit me and they threw me out in the rain and threw my clothes at me. Whinewhinewhine. Not my fault. Everyone persecutes me. Oh, why does everyone hate me and want me to die? They stole some of my pills. S. beat me up. Whinewhinewhine.

Repeat ad nauseum (and nausea is the word!)

So, apparently, she goes to ask S. for another pill - they made her give the pills up, so that she wouldn't be taking them all the time (Xanax, I think. She didn't get the Lortab filled and claims they stole the scrip. S. says she gave it back to her). She's supposed to take one twice a day. Well, she wanted another one (around 2-3 hours after the evening pill). She goes and wakes S. (and her daughters, who have school the next day) and demands another pill. S. says no. Words are exchanged. S. tries to get her to leave the room and AC trips over some shoes. Gets up, grabs S. by the throat and hair (and she has long nasty fingernails). S. gets her hand up between them and pops her one - not gentle, but there's no mark. "You hit me!" Out the door. S's daughters put all of AC's stuff in bags - and, yeah, they do get thrown at her. But she leaves them there.

Goes down to one of the convenience stores - says S. called up there and had them run her off. Goes to a different store. Loiters until she can find some place to call me from.

Oh, yeah - this all happens around 11:15 pm, in a house where most of the family has to get up in the morning for work and school. AC is a night owl, who likes to haunt karaoke bars.

Went through over a carton of cigarettes. Doesn't like to bathe a lot. Drinks soda constantly - one of those big bottles (not the individual sizes) probably lasts her little over a day. Doesn't want to eat. Gets manic, talks constantly (whether anyone's there or not) - and S. said they saw her sitting outside hitting herself in the head with a shoe! (probably nicotine withdrawal) Cusses. Is disrespectful and rude.

Oh, yeah, doesn't everyone want one of those for a houseguest?

So, instead of sucking it up for one more day, having a roof over her head, food if she wants it, etc., she's going to be sleeping in the back yard of a law firm over by a gas station. She has no money, she gets cold easily, has no coat, and it's kind of wet and rainy.

So she'll get her check tomorrow(SSI check, her SS check comes on the 3rd). She'll buy cigarettes and soda and rent a motel room for a couple of nights. There is a possibility she can get into a cheap $100/wk motel sometime this week.

Gah! I feel like I need to do one of those sage burning/cleansing rituals to get her essence off of me and my car [g].

Teh stupidity - it burns. Teh drama - it defies explanation.
eviltammy: (Default)
Annoying cousin - really need to change that to idiot cousin - got kicked out of other cousin's house last night. Stupid, stupid woman.

Update later, for those interested in the trainwreck.
eviltammy: (Default)
wherein I use the word 'update' too much :)


So I took her clothes over and had a wonderful time chatting with my cousin Libby (Stacy's mom). S was in and out, as was AC. Will have to go over again - sane relatives make me happy :)


And the niece is a mercenary wench [eg]. She told me to tell brother that she'd come to court if he gave her money. Then she said she'd come anyway, so that evil cousin doesn't get anything from me ::beams:: but not to tell brother that at first. Evil, evil child. I loves her so :>
eviltammy: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] dejla said in a comment to the previous entry:
"And sigh at annoying cousin. She doesn't get it and I'm not sure she ever will."

Aaaaaaand once again, she doesn't have to. (plus brother stuff) )
eviltammy: (Default)
annoying cousin has been evicted. Again.

There was a huge lack of "Oh, come stay with me" that I feel was noticed ;>

Something about her power bill got screwed up - and I'm not completely sure it was her fault, and then there was some drama about not being able to get in her mailbox (which is one of those locked apartment boxes)(she lost her keys or something) and therefore missed paying the negotiated amount or whatever.

She has to be out by the end of the week - or sometime during. Wonder what's going to happen to the stuff I gave her from my storage unit? It's not that I want it back - I want the damn unit emptied, but it's kind of the principle of the thing, you know? Of course, for the TV, we'd have to get someone who could move the damn thing.

I was actually hoping this might work - it was looking good.

So, back to "no, I won't lend you money", "no, you can't stay here", "no, you can't sleep on the porch", etc.

Anyone want an annoying mooch? I've got one to spare...
eviltammy: (Default)
Well, at the end of last month, I mentioned my visitor. As Ben Franklin said "Fish and visitors begin to stink after three days" (or something like that) - supposedly this was for one night. The one night turned into a long weekend (being New Year's). And then...

She stayed for 3 weeks. Three effing weeks.

I finally had to kick her out. I didn't kick her out before because I had apparently lost all assertiveness in the past year or so (since Mom died - shit, it's been 2 years - damn). So after a very helpful visit to the therapist, I told her the deadline for leaving. The whole thing made me nauseous and shaky - and very, very relieved. Since then I seem to have recovered some of my IRL snarkiness :) I haven't been able to completely disengage yet - I ended up having to keep her cat again. No - deciding to keep the cat - I didn't have to, but I didn't want the kitty to end up in the animal shelter (at least, not yet). But I haven't responded to her attempted guilt trips to let her come back or most of her attempts to borrow money (yeah, I lent her some - most of it I got back and I was willing to part with the rest to get her out. Plus a couple of bucks for a prescription and gas). Now I have to give her a deadline for the cat - and keep saying "No" to everything else.

I also lost my homeowner's insurance. Brother put some stuff on the roof as preventative maintenance against weather damage - except the stuff he went around the vents with was left over from sealing the roof of one of the rental trailers. Insurance person drove by - saw this white stuff on the black roof - and sent me a cancellation note saying 'your roof is patched, sorry kthnxbai". Had another insurance agency inspector come out - he said I'd have to get a roofer to come out and assess the roof - and oh, yeah - this fuse box here? It's ancient, so you'll have to get an electrician too. So that's my next task. Joy, oh, joy.

Other than that - and my cats disliking cousin's cat(eww, stinky boy cat cooties in the girl house!) - life continues...

Now Books! )

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